Being Myself

"Why aren't you wearing the niqab"asked a niqabi sister who sat directly infront of me on the table.

The question I avoided.
The blood inside of my veins is gushing in and out.
However I tried to remain calm.
Chewing my food slowly.


Thinking for answers.
Answers that would satisfy these creations.
I have my reasons and live in a different circumstances.
But are you willing to listen with an open mind?

"My family don't allow it for now"

"...But my family don't allow it too" she said

The first answer wasn't the real answer.
I don't know I said it in the first place.
I turn to my friend who sat next time.
And asked her to answer on my behalf.

"Her view about the niqab has changed"

"I didn't know there's other views" she said.

I looked down silently.
This time my mind is empty.
All I could say is.
Oo Allah please put good thoughts about her in me and me in her.


But this is the real me.


The other niqabi sister who sat next to her said,
"Yup there's many view with regards to niqab. It's okay if you don't want to wear it. Just take good care of yourself, the way you carry yourself in the public and don't smile unnessary to men"

"Oo i didn't know that" she said.

Now the test is on me, should i throw false judgement about her?
Do i have bad thoughts about her in my mind? 
Oo Allah please forgive me and her for our shortcomings.


In the Quran Allah said

"...but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allah . Indeed, He does not like wrongdoers" (Ash Shura 42:40)

xxx

Later i meet again with the other niqabi sister.
I thank her for helping me out with giving answer.
I don't know why I felt so inferior to just being myself.
She said, "It is better in the eyes of Allah a sister who don't wear niqab but prove through her actions and her behaviour that she is modesty and having a good akhlak. Sometimes the niqab sisters took for granted these things. Allah does not judge you just by a piece on cloth on your face."


I pause and reflected on her words.


Will I wear it or not in the future?
Inshaallah I don't know.
I asked Allah for things that are pleasing to Him


But for now.
Let the changes start from inside.
And inshaallah it will be reflected through outside.


Allah mustaan.

Manners

Imam Malik


When he was young and wanted to learn and gain knowledge, his mother would gave him an advice and say "Go to Rabiatul Raid (a scholar during his time) and learn from his adab (manners) first before learning from his knowledge"


He listened to his mother's advice. He would finish learning from the Imam for one year, but he remain with him for the next 19 years. When people asked him why? 

He said, "I took one year to learn from his knowledge, but 19 years to learn from his manners. He was an ocean in manners. They way he dealt with his fellow scholars, they way he dealt with the ignorance, the way he dealt with children and the way he dealt with the ruler; Everyday and every experience of his was a lesson of adhab. And I wish for the past 20 years, I would just learn from his manners alone"

Best in Worship

"You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah . If only the People of the Scripture had believed, it would have been better for them. Among them are believers, but most of them are defiantly disobedient (Al - Imran 3:110)"

"And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me (Adh-Dhariyat 51:56)"

If you were created to worship Allah and you are the best of all the nations, then You should be the best in worshipping Allah! - Sheikh Sajid Ahmed Umar

Gifts

"Allah gives us gifts, but We come to love them as we should only love Him. We become dependent on those gifts, instead of him. And we become distracted by those gifts. We take those gifts and inject them into our hearts. Soon we cannot live without them. Every walking moment is spent in contemplation of them. The heart and the mind created by Allah, for Allah becomes the property of someone else. And then the fear comes. The fear of losing those gifts consume us. Soon what was once a gift becomes a prison that torture us. At times, Allah free us, by taking those gifts away " 

Yasmin Mogahed (check her articles at wwwsuhaibwebb.com )

Modesty

“MashaAllah…..! She is a very pious sister!”

“Do you know that he lowers his gaze when he walk?!”

“And the beard..!!!!!”

“His jubah is above his ankle, Tabarakallah…! Very modest..!”

I’m sure you have heard all this comments before. People that dress in a certain way are called modesty. Big Hijab. Niqab. Loose-fitting Jubah.

But then the question arise,

Is part of being modesty is what confirms with the appearance?

Obviously there’s a missing element here.

The inner dimension of modesty

Being modesty is not just when you are outside, being seen by people,

but also when you are with yourselves and your attitude towards Allah.

The real value of modesty is what

Guides your thought and your desires.

Directs your actions and the content of your speech

“When you are alone, what are things that you will usually think about?”

Do you keep wondering around and end up in useless thoughts?

Or committing sins that you wouldn’t even think of doing it if someone is there?

The Prophet told a man he was advising: “I advise you to have shame with Allah as you would have shame (in the presence) of a righteous man from your people.”

When we develop modesty and shamelessness in our hearts, then it becomes easier for our thoughts, desires, conversation and actions to reflect modesty.

So how to gain modesty?

1. Refrain from shameless talks and actions
2. Consistently observe the obligatory and recommended worship. “Verily prayer prevents from shamelessness and evil deeds”
3. Surround yourselves with righteous people. This is because if you want to remain pure, you have to be in a company that will improve you. A Mujahid said, “If a Muslim benefits from his brother is the feeling of shame of committing sins due to the presence of his brother, and this prevent him from sinning, than that would be sufficient.
4. Remove oneself from corrupted environment. A believer must always be alert with environment that contains lagwu (anything that could be in terms of speech or actions that doesn't bring any benefit in your deen)
5. Gain knowledge by studying the example of modesty from the Prophet and His companions.

“When you do something remember that Allah sees you, and when you speak remember that Allah hears you and when you are silent, remember than Allah’s knowledge of your inner thoughts and feelings”